Black

Last night and today were difficult to get through.  Some people are angry and I understand.  I’m disappointed and upset that our nation wasn’t able to get over their racist and sexist tendencies in order to elect someone who was overqualified over someone who was the epitome of everything negative about America.

I’ve been crying on and off for the fact that I feel alienated from those around me.  I live in a state that chose the candidate who preached hate and intolerance.  I’ve been considering attempting to get involved in my local government and continuing to make a positive difference in those around me.  It’s a dark time for our nation and I can only hope that nothing terrible happens in these next four years.  As a woman, I am very concerned for my freedoms that exist over my own body and fear they will be taken away.

On a different note, Damien and I have been fighting lately.  I basically have to decide if I want to live with him and move to a new state with him or break up.  I’m having trouble dealing with everything going on around me right now.  I’m overwhelmed.  Dick finally texted back, but didn’t really say anything at all.

I went into a catatonic state a few nights ago, and it’s always scary when that happens.  It’s like you’re trying to tell your body to move and do something and it doesn’t listen.  At least this current upset has given me some kind of reason to point to for my sadness.

I’m going to bed and I hope that I will feel better in the days to come.

-Ruby

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